Navigating a Missed Miscarriage

This is the photo I almost posted to announce our pregnancy last fall, but decided against it because it is so raw and requires some explaining that I wasn't ready to do yet. This was taken back in June after our first prenatal appointment in the parking garage of the doctors office. Obviously we were excited that we were pregnant. But we were also so relieved. After suffering a loss back in 2015 and then not having a positive pregnancy test for over a year after that. This is what pure joy and relief looks like. This is what it looks like when a huge weight of sadness and uncertainty has been lifted off of your shoulders.

With all of the strength I could muster, I hit publish on this instagram post last September. Why was I so nervous to share our story? A story that isn't original. It actually happens to 1 out of 4 women in the United States. A story I am finally ready to share with the world. 

Fair warning. If you aren't into TMI or gory details, this post probably isn't for you. 

Back in the summer of 2015 we had just got back from our trip to Alaska when I had my period. No big deal we weren't trying to get pregnant or anything, but we were also not "not trying". I had taken myself off of birth control that April and knowing it can take a while for that to get out of your system, we weren't really putting a lot of hope into anything yet. A week later I had another period. That's weird. I'm typically a very clockwork kind of person when it comes to my monthly visit. So needless to say I started the deep deep dive into googling. Most of the information I found said that I could be pregnant (!!) and that the second period could actually be implantation bleeding (all words I had never heard before, but now are so so normal to me lol). So I picked up a test on my way home from work and sure enough I was pregnant!

It was right before Father's Day so I bought Derek a Fitbit with a card that said something along the lines of "you'll need to count your steps now that you'll be chasing after a little one" or something to that affect. Cute right? We were both SO excited and also SO nervous that we wouldn't be good enough or ready enough for this little baby. 

The next day I called my doctor to setup our first prenatal appointment. And thats when I realized this wasn't a normal pregnancy. "What was the date of your last period?" Well technically it was this date, but then I had another one on this date. "Oh." (after a long pause). That "oh" was not very comforting. So she scheduled it for the earlier date just to go ahead and do an ultrasound and see what's going on. Then we would have a better understanding of the time frame, and how far along this little bean was. 

Waiting for that first appointment was the longest 8 weeks of my life. Everything seemed totally fine though. I was eating all of the right things and not eating the laundry list of things pregnant women can't eat. I was famished all the time, I was super tired, and already feeling bloated. When the day of our appointment finally arrived we were so excited to see our baby on the ultrasound. They said it would probably be too early to hear the heartbeat, but that we would try anyway. So fun fact for those of you who don't know. When you see women get their first ultrasound on TV and they put the cold jelly on their bellies, that's not what happens at all. First of all, you don't get the over the tummy ultrasound until like 20 weeks. Not 8. So they have to do it vaginally, which let me tell you is oh so comfortable. It's kind of like a joystick all up in your business.

My doctor had the screen toward her so that she could look at all of the boring things before showing us the little bean. I could see the look of concern in her eyes. She searched and searched, but she couldn't find the baby. She could see the fetal sack, but there wasn't a fetal pole. It was just empty. She explained that it could just be too early and that we may have been guessing off of the wrong date, and that there would be more to see in a couple of weeks. Either way we were crushed. Derek kept reassuring me that it was going to be okay and it may just be too early, and I agreed. Because I felt very pregnant. At least my short knowledge of what being pregnant felt like. They took some blood to check my progesterone levels, and wanted me to come back the next day to check my levels again to see if they doubled, which would mean that the baby was growing at the rate it should be, and maybe it was just hiding. 

I went back to work at that afternoon, and right before lunch I received a call with my lab results. Normal progesterone levels range from 11-90 during the first trimester and double everyday. The woman on the phone was calling to tell me that I didn't need to come back the next day to be tested because my progesterone levels were only a 3 and that even if they doubled it was still well under the appropriate levels they wanted to see. She explained that I had a Blighted Ovum and that I would soon miscarry. My head was spinning. I remember being in a conference room where I took the call and then immediately had to go into a lunch meeting where I just sat there running a zillion scenarios in my head while trying not to cry. No one around me even knew what was going on. No one even knew I was pregnant. Only Derek and my doctor. 

That night I told Derek and we both just cried. What an odd feeling to know you are going to have a miscarriage, but that it hasn't happened yet and you feel totally fine. Obviously I started googling the odds of a misdiagnosed Blighted Ovum and Blighted Ovums that turned into living breathing babies. There were several cases all over the world, so I clung to that hope like a big dummy. I read horror stories about how doctors told these women that they had an empty fetal sack and encouraged them to get a D&C, and so they found a second opinion and now they have a 3 year old. Things like that. Or even worse, the woman who did get the D&C but is now on the message boards saying how she'll always wonder if her doctor was wrong. Needless to say I got off the internet because it was a slippery slope into false hope. 

Weeks went by and I still hadn't miscarried yet. My doctor had me coming in 1-2 times a week to check my progress and ensure that the sack was still empty. It was. I finally started spotting and bleeding on and off for a couple of days, and my doctor explained that it could take up to a week for my body to evacuate this pregnancy, and that I would know when it happens. A week went by and I was still barely bleeding. She said that if I wanted to push things along that she could give me Misoprostol that would make it happen much faster so that I could get it over with and start to heal emotionally. It was a Friday, and she said that if it didn't finish that night that she would meet me at her office on Saturday and give me the medicine that way I could have the weekend to recover. So I agreed. She explained that it would happen very fast and be very painful, so she also gave me some pain killers. I didn't really know what to expect, since when you see it on TV it's just some blood and that's it. She explained that if I bleed enough to fill a pad in less than an hour to call 911 and go to an ER. I was officially terrified. She said that honestly this way is better if your body isn't doing it on it's own because it could happen while you are at work or in the car, rather than comfortable in your own home.

I met her on Saturday morning to get the medication. That afternoon I felt some heavy cramping, but decided not to take the painkillers. I wanted to feel everything. Somehow I thought it would give me a sense of closure. If I was meant to go through this experience, then I wanted to experience it. I was also just curious to see if I could handle the pain. 

So. You don't just lose blood. It's not like a heavy period. Now that I've experienced childbirth, it's basically like the afterbirth you deal with for 4 weeks all piled into one day. It was extremely traumatizing to see and experience. For those of you who haven't experienced afterbith, it's basically like your body is evacuating globs of tissue that look like giant red egg yolks. I basically just stayed in the bathroom until it was over. Crying and having a panic attack.

That next Monday I went back in to see my doctor to do another ultrasound to make sure that the pregnancy was completely evacuated. It wasn't. There was still a ton of tissue everywhere. After what I experienced, how was this possible? My doctor labeled this as a "missed miscarriage" where your body starts to evacuate the pregnancy but something happens and it can't do it on it's own naturally. She said I could wait it out and see if it would happen on its own, but that my experience Saturday could happen while I'm at work in the middle of a meeting, and could happen on several different occasions. And honestly after going through what I had already gone through I couldn't imagine there being more days of that. Or having to go through it in a public bathroom. Ugh. She suggested a D&C (Dilation & Curettage) where I would be put under a local anesthetic, and she would go in and scrape out any remaining tissue and basically hit a reset button on my uterus. Because even if I let my body do it naturally over time, there could still be residual tissue which would keep my body thinking I'm pregnant and would prevent future pregnancies, while also causing long-term side effects to my fertility health. I was terrified of this procedure (thanks internet) and the complications, but she assured me that as long as I don't have more than 5 there really isn't any harm to my chances of conceiving in the future. She explained that it was less than a 30 minute procedure and that I would be out of work for two days to recover. I had been spending the entire month planning a surprise party for Derek's 30th birthday where we were going to announce our pregnancy to our family and friends. Although that wouldn't be happening, I was still using the party as a nice distraction to have something exciting to look forward to in lieu of our current situation. The party was planned to take place that weekend, so my doctor moved her schedule around so that I could have the procedure and be recovered in time for his party. 

The morning of my procedure I was basically in a little triage bay all hooked up to my IV and filling out paperwork. At the top of my forms in big letters it said "Missed Abortion", to which my nurse said "I'm so sorry for your loss". I can still see her face. I immediately started crying. Why was it called that? 

The actual procedure didn't hurt at all, and my doctor confirmed that she was able to remove all of the tissue and that I would be ready to start trying again after a normal cycle, which could take up to three cycles until things were "normal" again. 

It took a while before we started trying again. We were both so scared to go through this experience all over again, and we wanted to be emotionally ready. Little did we know that it would take us 19 months to get pregnant. Our journey through infertility is a whole post which you can read here.

Throughout this process I learned a lot about who my real friends were, and I actually gained some really great friends along the way. Some of my best friends completely shut me out of their lives. I'm not sure if they just didn't know how to talk to me after finding out, but it's like I was invisible. Even our families didn't know what to say. Some would check in every now and then to see how we were doing, while others just pretended like it never happened and would openly say things like "I don't get why people have such a hard time getting pregnant, we got pregnant right away. A+B=C" And other insensitive things. 

On the flip side, after finding out that I was out from work for two days for a medical procedure, one of my coworkers asked me how I was doing and alluded to the fact that she knew what was going on. It turned out she had gone through a very similar situation and so we bonded over that. We now both have healthy happy babies and have come out on the other side of this all. 

If you have suffered a miscarriage and are feeling alone or less than, please know that you are not alone. If nothing else, I am here to listen. It's okay to be upset, to be pissed, to feel sorry for yourself, to feel inadequate, to feel hopeless. But know that you are none of these things. These are just emotions that will make you stronger in the end. It will make you appreciate your children whether biological or adopted or fur-children. It will make you love with a vengeance. You survived this and you are powerful. Welcome to this very special club that no one wants to be in.

Olivia West | Four Months

Don't mind me. I'm just in a puddle of tears over here. How is Olivia already big enough to sit up in her monthly photos? Time - you are just such a jerk. 

Everyday is just a new day with our little Olivia. She is such a morning person and just greets the day with smiles and sunshine in her heart. We think she gets it from her Grammy (my mom) or Sue Heck from The Middle. But as I explained in her three month update, I give all of the credit to her getting plenty of sleep. We follow the Wonder Weeks app and there has been this storm cloud looming over weeks 14 through 19 (she's at 17 now). It is a 35 day learning leap (the longest yet) in her development, and I have just been dreading it. However, it's actually been pretty okay thanks to her being well rested. Although there have been a few bumps in the road (more on that below). She just has to keep us on our toes!

| STATS |

We had her four month check up this morning, and we were all SO excited to show her pediatrician how big she has grown since her two month appointment when she was still struggling with eating enough and gaining weight. He was so proud of her (and us) for being so diligent in our breastfeeding saga and working hard with her to help her grow big and strong. She currently weighs in at 14lb 11oz (65th percentile). She is 25.25" long (90th) and her head is 16.5in (90th). 

| EATING |

Over the last couple of weeks eating has been a struggle. And if you follow my insta stories you probably have heard all about it. It felt like a switch flipped and all of a sudden she became the most feisty eater. She would be hungry and I would start nursing and she would just cry, yank, kick, scratch, and just had an overall terrible latch. Just out of the blue. After talking to several of my mommy friends the general consensus was that she was either teething, distracted by her exciting world, or that it was just the growth spurt / learning leap. After talking to her pediatrician, he verified that she had no signs of teeth coming in, but that she could still be teething. However, he guessed that it was probably due to being distracted by her exciting world since she didn't behave this way at night when the room was dark and her white noise was playing. He said that it would go away just as quickly as it started, which is exactly what one of my mama friends said who also follows wonder weeks, saying her son did the exact same thing around this time. She has gotten much better as her "stormy period" is passing, and I've noticed that if I play the lullaby setting on her white noise app (it sounds like an old music box) then she chills out and eats like her old self, so that's what we're doing for now. She is still eating every 2-3 hours, and we went from 30-45min on each side to 10min which is SO great for me because I was starting to feel like a cafeteria 24/7 and now we have more time to play and read during her awake hours. 

| SLEEPING |

Olivia is still sleeping like a champ all by herself in her crib. In case you missed it I have a whole post on how we sleep trained her here. We also have her fully napping in her crib as well. With how heavy she is now, I have no idea how I would have been able to hold her and rock her to sleep in my arms all day everyday. On average she sleeps about 8-10 hours every night with one nightly feeding around 2:00am. However, some days (especially during her growth spurts) she will sleep for 12-13 hours straight and not have a night feeding. She takes 3-4 naps a day depending on their duration, and her naps range from 40min (typical) to 2 hours (during growth spurts). I try and keep her awake and active for about an hour and a half in between naps, which helps us get her to her 16-16.5 hours of sleep a day. For someone who lives for schedules and structure, this mama is very pleased with our new routine. We've chugging along this way for the last 5 weeks, which has been so great.

| DOING |

Now that Olivia is consistently napping throughout the day, we have setup a bit of a routine for her awake times. I try to keep her awake no longer than 1.5 hours (which includes feeding time). During this time we will alternate reading books, tummy time, her activity center, and a couple times during the week we will go on an outing. Although with the temps already over 100, I'm not sure how long we are going to keep this up, especially since it takes 20min just to cool down the car. After asking around and doing a little research, we ended up getting her this activity center. We love the simplicity in design, and how it transitions as she gets older. She absolutely loves this thing. The base is a little too far for her short legs, so right now I have it boosted with books haha. But since she loves standing so much we thought this would be a great way for her to independently explore, while still being safe. During the week we try to get out of the house and do something different just to keep the both of us sane. We'll meet up with friends for lunch or shopping just for an hour or two and then we'll go back home to nap. It's so funny to take her places, it's almost like she realizes "wait a second, there is more to the world than the same four walls in my house" haha.

| MILESTONES |

Mastering her nap schedule has definitely felt like a huge milestone. I am able to work and get things done around the house during her naps which makes me feel more like a productive member of society ha. We ventured out to a restaurant for lunch a couple weeks ago for the very first time and she barely even fussed. I think she just loves seeing all of the new people, sounds, colors, etc. We also took her to my best friend from college's wedding this past weekend. I was so so nervous about this because 1. it started after her bedtime, and 2. I didn't want her to be screaming during the ceremony or toasts. But this girl was perfect. She had THE best time. Seriously. She fought sleep on and off, but once the music started she just wanted to dance. As long as she has her carrot to munch on this girl is content. She also started full on laughing for the first time. It first started out as more of a pity chuckle, and then turned into a giggle fest. My heart just melted. She is also showing the beginning signs of teething and has become a drool factory and is chewing on anything she can get her hands on, so we go through bibs like crazy. She is still in size 2 diapers and 3-6m clothing, but on the brink of jumping up to 6-9m. This girl has a long torso and short legs just like her mama. 

| FAVORITE MOMENTS |

Her personality is really starting to come through, and her eyebrows are just so expressive. It's so funny when she meets a new person because you know right off the bat how she feels about them. Girlfriend has no filter. Making her laugh is probably at the top of the list for our favorite moments. It's hard to get her to do it again so you really have to soak it all in as its happening. I also just love seeing her take in her surroundings, everything is so new and exciting to her. It makes you realize how much you take for granted until you can see things through a child's eyes. It just makes me SO excited for the holidays. Every morning when I change her she'll just gaze out the window and watch the birds and smile. Her little heart is so full of sunshine. 

Sleepless in San Antonio

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but after 10 weeks worth of sleep deprived nights. Olivia is finally sleeping in her crib. And she's not just sleeping willy nilly. She's sleeping through the night. That's right. How you ask? Well after sending out a plea of desperation on Insta Stories. My friend Lauren from college recommended the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I immediately ordered it on Amazon and devoured it.

You may be thinking, well I have a two year old who won't sleep. His methods can work as early as 6 weeks old all the way through adolescence. It's never too late to practice good sleep habits. I for one am a terrible sleeper while Derek can literally sleep anywhere, so instilling these habits in your child will help them into adulthood. 

Now in this book there are several methods for getting your child to sleep through the night. The most drastic of which is very controversial among parents, but has the quickest results. And being at about our wits end, I was ready to go to the extreme with our baby girl. What I'm about to tell you may make you cringe, but before you judge us for being terrible heartless parents. I'll be the first to say that it worked, and she was sleeping through the night in her crib without a peep within five days. When I say "through the night" I mean that there is still one nighttime feeding. However, by night three she was sleeping for 8 hours straight before her night feeding. And now every couple of days she'll go 11 hours before waking up to eat.

Here's what we did.

Understanding Sleep Queues

This book stresses that parents are often selfish when it comes to keeping their babies awake. Either from being away at work and wanting to soak up those precious moments when you get home, or being too distracted with the TV, phone, other children, etc. to recognize that your baby is giving you visual signs that they are tired. These queues are your typical sleepy signals: yawning, rubbing eyes, staring off into space, sighing, sucking on hands, etc. Once you notice one or a combination of these signals, it's time to stop what you're doing and start your bedtime routine. You want to ride this wave before their second wind comes along and they are overtired (crying, fussy, unable to soothe, etc.) It's kind of like how you want to feed your baby before they are hungry to avoid the meltdown. Once you've mastered this you will easily know when your baby is ready to go to sleep whether its bedtime or nap time. You should rely on your baby's sleep queues not a clock.

Establish an Early Bedtime Routine (and Be Consistent)

We aim for around 6:00pm. I know this is very hard for working parents, but what is even harder is a baby that cries all night. Obviously it's still super light out this time of year, so we installed these blackout shades that we pull down during naps and bedtime. Your baby will naturally learn their circadian rhythm and start to differentiate day from night (or naps from bedtime). 

Our daily bedtime routine goes something like this:

5:00ish - turn the lights down low and close the shades

5:00 - "last call" feeding

5:30 - bathtime

5:45 - fresh diaper, clean onesie, sleep swaddle (more on this later)

6:00ish - lights off, sound machine on, start soothing, nighty night

We practice this method every single night regardless of where we are. Babies love routines. However, sometimes we have an event where we have to stay out past her bedtime. The book stresses that pushing back her bedtime will cause serious havoc on their sleep that night and the next day. So far (knock on wood) we haven't found this to be the case, but we also don't abuse this. If we do stay out "late" we will get home by 8:00pm at the absolute latest and start the bedtime routine.   

Teach Your Baby to Self Soothe

One of the 1,000 things I never knew about babies, until reading this book, is that they have to be taught how to sleep. When they are in the womb they are naturally rocked to sleep all day when you walk around. All warm and comfy. However, on the outside they need complete womb simulation in order to sleep. So after the first sleepless night (when she was about 5 days old) we made the mistake of bending over backwards to do everything we could to recreate this womb-like environment for her. Which resorted to her being swaddled in Derek's arms as he rocked her to sleep on the sofa. all. night. long.  We made him a pillow nest that was encouraged by our pediatrician for "safe sleeping", and every night he would hold her while she sucked on his finger listening to white noise. Snug as a bug in a freaking rug. 

The book explains that you want to soothe your baby to a point of a "sleepy but awake state". So many parents put their babies down asleep and then scoop them back up the second they start crying (guilty). However, if you put your baby down asleep they will never learn the skill of self soothing. Therefore when they wake they will cry and cry until someone soothes them. What is self soothing? All babies differ, but in our case Olivia likes to suck on her little fists and rub her cheeks until she falls asleep.

Enter the most amazing baby product ever invented.

The Magic Sleep Swaddle to End All Sleep Swaddles

Disclaimer: this is not sponsored by Love to Dream, I really am just honestly obsessed with this product. 

So swaddling is fine and dandy if you have a good sleeper (or if your baby isn't a swaddle busting ninja). However, if you're like the rest of us your baby will never learn to self soothe if their hands are pinned down at their sides. So you can either swaddle them with their hand up by their mouth, or just get one of these. I've never met a baby product that has worked so well so quickly. This guy does what it says it will do to the point where Olivia will immediately start sucking on her hands (we call them flippers) the second I start putting it on her. We implemented this on the third night which is when she slept for a solid 8 hours without waking. Before that the longest she would sleep on her own was 3 or 4 hours tops.

Full Extinction

Okay enough stalling. As I said earlier, the book provides several different methods for getting your baby to sleep through the night after you have put them down sleepy but awake. And as I mentioned before we went with the harshest method with the quickest results. 

Okay here we go. Are you sitting down? 

After you put your baby down sleepy but awake you leave the room, close the door, and don't go back into the room until they wake for the middle of the night feeding. Yep. You let them cry it out. How long? For as long as it takes. This was worse than childbirth. Derek and I literally had to stop one another from caving and rescuing her. We didn't watch the baby monitor, we put a movie on and pretended to watch it. But as the book states, you are not hurting your baby by letting them cry. You are hurting them by depriving them of sleep. 

Here are our results:

Day 1

Crying: 70 min (I know. Bare with me.)

Sleep: 3hrs - feed - 3hrs - feed - 2hrs

Day 2

Crying: 60 min

Sleep: 4hrs - feed - 4hrs

Day 3

Crying: 32 min

Sleep: 8hrs - feed - 3hrs

Day 4

Crying: 20 min

Sleep: 8hrs - feed - 4hrs

Day 5

Crying: 10 min

Sleep: 9hrs - feed - 3hrs

Day 6

Crying: 15 min

Sleep: 6hrs - feed - 5hrs

Day 7

Crying: 5 min

Sleep: 11hrs

So yeah. The first two nights are rough. But as you can see from our results there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And now when we look at the monitor we just see our little girl sleeping soundly in her sleep swaddle. In her favorite position. Her head jammed up against the crib railing. Go figure.

Night Feeding

For her night feedings there is minimal stimulation. This is not social hour, it's a "business feeding". When Olivia wakes I turn on the hall light, go into her room leaving it dark. I turn down the sound machine to it's lowest volume. I pick her up, kiss her cheek, change her diaper, zip her back into her sleep swaddle, and feed her in almost darkness with just the hall light creeping in. Afterwards I turn the sound machine back up, I burp her, kiss her again, lay her back down, and close the door. Even from the first night of training she immediately fell back to sleep after her night feeding. 

Regular Napping with Limited Wakefullness

Another thing I didn't know is that babies require A TON of sleep. It varies by age, but even at 3 months we're talking about 16-17 hours a day. So with her average of about 12 hours of nighttime sleep, this still leaves 4 hours of sleep that has to happen during the day. At the beginning she would automatically sleep during the day with little to no soothing. But now with there being so much to see and do, I have to soothe her pretty heavily before each nap. 

Here is our typical schedule:

5:00 am - wake / change / business feeing (pretend it's still nighttime)

5:30 am - early morning nap (I usually sleep during this)

8:30 am - wake / change / business feeding

9:00 am - mid morning nap

9:30 am - wake / change / greet the day / feed / activity

11:00 am - early afternoon nap

12:30 pm - wake / change / feed / activity

1:45 pm - mid afternoon nap

2:45 pm - wake / change / feed / activity

4:00 pm - late afternoon nap (optional)

4:45 pm - wake / change / feed / bath

6:00 pm - bedtime 

She tends to sleep for about 40min to an hour during each nap, so at the end of the day we hit that 16-17 hour mark of sleep, which is the goal. At first I had her in my arms for all of her naps other than the early morning nap. But as each week has gone by I've slowly transitioned each nap to the crib and now she's 100% sleeping in the crib.

Have Confidence That a Well Rested Baby is a Healthier Happier Baby

After the second day of training we immediately saw that we had a completely different baby. Rather than screaming bloody murder when she awoke (even in her daddy's arms), she quietly chatters to herself until you walk into her room, and then gives you THE biggest smile. She is happy and alert all day, when before we were terrified to even take a phone call, go out in public, or have company over in fear that she was just going to start screaming. To this day she never cries after waking up. She barely cries when we put her down, and if she does it's usually because she's over tired and we missed her sleep queues. I'm not saying this is a fool proof method, but after seeing results almost immediately, I felt selfish not sharing our experience.

Note: I am not a sleep expert, you should definitely read this book before attempting anything especially if you have an overly fussy / colicky baby. Also, a lot of people (guilty again) resort to the stroller, car rides, etc. for sleeping. Which is fine and dandy for short naps. But as the book states this is not quality sleep and shouldn't be a crutch. You won't see real change until your baby get's solid and sound sleep.

Has anyone tried a similar method? What worked for you?

A Minimalist Baby Registry | 3 Month Update

Now that we have been in the thick of parenting for a solid three months. I have been asked a lot about which baby products we actually use, which ones were a waste of money, and what we bought after she was born that we wish we would have registered for. 

Rather than reinventing the wheel I have added UPDATE comments to each of the products we've been using since day one. So head over to my original Minimalist Registry for Modern Babies post to see our 3 month comments. 

I plan to do another update at 6 months and then 12 months to review some of the items she hasn't started using yet like her high chair. Or to see if she changed her mind about anything she once didn't like (like her Mamaroo). Stay tuned!

Olivia West | Three Months

It's true when people say that they love each stage of their child's life more than the previous stage. The last few weeks leading up until month three have been a game changer. Is it too soon to say that I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this whole life with a newborn thing?

| STATS |

Baby girl is just packing on the weight like a champ. Her rolls are the real deal and we couldn't be prouder. As you know from our first few weeks, we struggled with her gaining enough weight, so to visibly see her grow and change each day is everything. The three month mark is in bettween her two month and 4 month checkup, but according to our bathroom scale (so official) she currently weighs around 15lbs and is 23in long. 

| EATING |

It seems like her cluster feeding has curbed a bit, and she is now eating about every 2 hours which is really great with her current napping schedule (more on that below). I have started eating dairy again and it doesn't seem to be upsetting her tummy which I'm pretty excited about because I was missing my milk and cheese and ice cream. Now that she is becoming more social, eating is a little bit more challenging as she rather look around the room or smile at me rather than eat. Don't get me wrong, it's really sweet unless it's at 3:00am. 

| SLEEPING |

You guys. I never thought I would utter these words. Olivia is sleeping in her crib. Like actually sleeping, By herself. FOR HOURS. I know. I have so much to say on this subject that I'm going to write an entire post dedicated to how we sleep trained her. But holy moly these sleep deprived parents could not be happier and prouder of our little girl. Within two days she was sleeping for 8 hours straight! And now she has even gone up to 10 hours a few nights. We've also developed a pretty solid bedtime routine (more on that later). Now that we have the night time sleeping under control we have been working on her naps during the day which are about 50% in the crib and 50% in my arms, but hey we're getting somewhere. Plus I love her cuddles. Her sleep schedule now has made her such a happy baby. It makes me wish we would have started sleep training her earlier, but we're still just trying to figure things out. 

| DOING |

So within a month Olivia has gone from her little coos and baby gurgles to full on conversations. She just goes on and on about her day and her baby dreams, I can barely keep up! She is also almost holding her head up completely now, it's just a little wobbly (usually when she's tired). She loves to "walk around and look at stuff" (that's what we call it. there's even a song.) She loves her best friend the ceiling vent. When she isn't eating or napping she loves when we read books, singing songs, and listening to The Beatles. A girl after my own heart. Because she is getting some solid sleep now, she is a lot easier to take places without a complete meltdown. So on the weekends we have made it a ritual to go for long walks around the neighborhood, visit the farmer's market, grab some gelato, and if we're really feeling frisky we'll venture to Target. We try to keep our little adventures around an hour as not to wear her out or interfere with her napping schedule. This past weekend had our first grocery store adventure! We were sure to go at 8:00am on Sunday when the place is empty, which was amazing. She loved looking at the lights and colorful items. She is a born shopper like her mama. 

| MILESTONES |

As I mentioned earlier, she is finally packing on the weight. She has officially grown out of her 0-3m clothing and is now in 3-6m. When people say not to invest in baby clothes, I get it now. They seriously grow SO fast. Luckily for us though her sizing is right on target with her age so she's been a lot easier to shop and plan for. She has also moved up to size 2 diapers! Which means we have about 15 boxes of size 1 diapers we'll be exchanging soon. Whoops. I definitely think her sleeping in her crib and sleeping through the night is a HUGE milestone. Derek and I both feel like we're finally hitting our parenting stride, rather than just being sleep deprived zombies all the time. I mean we didn't sleep in the same bed for 10 weeks, we were like ships passing in the night. She is also now grabbing things on purpose and bringing them to her mouth, when before it was more of a grabbing and not knowing how to let go sort of thing. We also started this fun game where she "stands" on our laps and we bounce her up and down. She definitely had noodle negs at first but now she plants her feed and keeps her knees locked and just laughs and laughs when she "jumps".

| FAVORITE MOMENTS |

I just love how chatty she is now. We will talk and talk about all kinds of things. She is a great conversationalist. We took her to two events this month and she met lots of new friends. I've realized that having a baby is like having a puppy in public. All kinds of strangers will come up to you and you can hear girls audibly gasp to their boyfriends/husbands. Haha sorry buddy! Another favorite moment is now that she is getting plenty of sleep, she no longer wakes up crying we just hear her talking and squealing to herself every morning, and when you walk in she just lights up with the biggest smile! We love our girl.